My frustration comes from a place:

My Children. Right-now belong in a better place, and that place is with their father. He is more stable than I am, that’s what I call sacrificial love. There were days when I didn’t have it to give to them, I miss waking up to there foolery in the mornings. My God is sufficient and I believe He will continue to take care of me and them.

People don’t understand my reasoning, but that’s ok I do. I hate depending on people, I hate them throwing things back in my face like whatsoever you have God isn’t the one who gave it to you.

One day all shall see my reasoning, I remember feeling as if my heart was cut into a million pieces. When you love 4 vessels that came out of your womb without anesthesia and people wanna tell you what love or lack thereof you have for them.

There was times my heart bleed, no car, no phone, no money, no place and no cooperation from family. Just cold shoulders and whispers behind close doors. My family did it so why should I expect any different from you, why would I have hope because you name the name of Christ.

When in actuality judgements are here, verdicts are drawn and gavels are slammed stating case closed. Because my need is more prevalent than yours, sacrifice your family once again, whisper and lie once again while you ask for me to uplift and edify you, pray for yours.

When consistently you and your seeds are the ones dividing and conquering mine. But not knowing that all is not as it appears and unless you have walked a day in my shoes, who are you to cast stones.

I have been told to sacrifice when I have sacrificed much this is not the first family but the 4th where I had to continue in this plight.

When will it end?
When I refuse to jump to there rope and dance to the beat of their drum. Invoking a consistent heavenly call.
Truth be told it’s not easy to walk with a Holy God who requires holiness and truth, Selah

Don’t ever pass judgement on those that sacrifice in the name of what’s best.

Example the other day i had provision to see them but in actuality I didn’t wanna do it again 31 days of bliss and then nothing MIA for the next 31 days.

The day will come when I will be able to be consistent and all that pass judgement will eat their words.

For in life there are mountains, valleys and deserts.

Father give me strength to learn and be still and know that you are God.


Weapons of Mass Destruction 2



Most but not all of us have received darts from the enemy in the form of words. Whether they are true or not is beside the point, when we are attacked in that way you feel violated. And God knows it takes Heaven & Earth to stop you from defending yourself from such weapons of mass destruction.

I call them that because depending on who is the hearer a multiplication of said facts can destroy a reputation while adding insult to injury.

Oh! How I may defend myself? Speak well of them, now not so. Did you hear the words coming out of their mouths. (Said in my Chris Tucker Voice) In regards to me, smh confused but I will be obedient to Matthew 5:44.

Bless! those that curse you

Bless to speak well of, esteem, honor and praise them.
Lord it ain’t fair but I will do it for the wilderness is tired of me.

Speak well of praise them, edifying them, love them, encourage and PRAY for them. Not stopping at just prayer but when asked about the lovely ones build them up.

But Lord isn’t that lying? Lol nope speak those things that be not as though they were.



Your Love Is On The Top

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
borrowed from megan  Continue reading

Hope Hurts Sometimes, And I Don’t Know What to Do

I am new to your page and would like to share my point of view about your post. The lessons I have learned since coming to Christ is priceless and would love to share with you. As an unwed mother of four I think I have some knowledge in this area. My first point is I was in a six plus year relationship and had to let go of a lot of hurt. The main point is that I had a soul tie to this person and was led to break it, how you may ask? and what is a soul tie?

1. soul ties
A spiritual/emotional connection you have to someone after being intimate with them, usually engaging in sexual intercourse. To the point that when you want to be rid of them from your mind and your life, even when you are far away from them and out of their presence you still feel as if they are apart of you and apart of you is with them, Causing you to feel unwhole, as if you’ve given up some of yourself untangible that cannot be easily possessed again.

13317_p4zf2RNL2. How did I break it by being led to write all names of the persons I had been intimate with down and then saying a prayer asking God to break every ungodly soul tie and to restore the wholeness and truth that He has taught me.

Now I don’t quite remember how long it took but I do know soul ties are really and that we need to try to stay free from all things that will bind us to the emotions and feelings of another.


Single Gal Starting Over

It happened again. I was on the peripheral of a conversation about my ex. And my stomach did the flip flop. Again. It’s been more than enough time. I thought I was moving on. And the flip happened.

So I grabbed one of my friends from the office where the conversation was happening and asked her to take a walk with me. She is a hip mother of two young adults, so I like getting her advice.

I didn’t feel like crying, I explained. I wasn’t mad or uncomfortable. Well, I was mad. I was mad that my body still had a reaction to his name.

I demand to know why! I want to know what I can do to make it stop! Immediately!

So I asked her, “what’s that all about?!”

She wisely answered, “I think that’s hope.”

Oh. Yeah, you’re right. You hit that nail right on the…

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